The Receipts — NeuroSpicy Community, Sol Smith & Sebastian Knowles

Hi Sol!

I'm stoked to be working with you and excited to present a quick outline of what I had in mind. After letting my brain do its thing, I'm going to step back from the three options I had offered and instead offer an initial outline of a proposal to work from instead.

Before I dive into the project, I want to mention I have a permaculture background and the way I see this outline is focused on the permaculture principle of stacking functions. This proposal focuses on trying to maximize reach and impact, or yield, for all parties involved. It's also an immensely flexible plan so feel free to let me know the parts that work and don't work for you.

With one exception, this all revolves around AI — that exception is that I'd like to engage on a research project to serve a population that seems to include both of us along with X number of neurodivergent others seeking therapy in California who are on Magellan.

Now onto the big event:

Professor Sol's AI Solutions Studio (Powered by Pickaxe)

Pickaxe allows you to create both ChatGPT-4 powered chatbots along with AI-powered forms. Pickaxe Studio allows you to essentially create a white label storefront of Pickaxes.

What I'd Provide:

Over the 16 weeks of coaching I'd like to create an AI toolkit for your target audience. These tools could serve any and all of these functions: support the community at large, drive conversion to your coaching services, provide additional services for coaching clients, create a more accessible tier for those who cannot afford human interaction.

I'd like to be able to credit either IntelliBotique or TranquilTech Creations as the "Prompt engineer" for these tools.

So what sorts of things could I build to encompass a full Studio of tools?

1) An AI powered questionnaire to help determine whether Professor Sol is the right choice and/or what other sorts of support they should be seeking out.
2) Sol — a virtual Sol designed to help neurodivergent folks navigate through life. This is primarily focused on defusing meltdown situations.
3) Professor Sol — A guide with all of the information you have compiled over the years.
4) Autism Interpreter — to verify emotional character of communications and ensure communications align with perceptions of the outside world.
5) Autism Advocate — fine-tuned to support the neurodivergent community in securing any accommodations they are entitled to.
6) What other ideas might you have?

What you'd provide:

The 16 weeks of coaching and whatever else comes standard alongside that offering. If you decide you like the tools I create and want to put them on your site, you do so with "Powered by Pickaxe" branding. You'd allow me to put the same studio up on my Intellibotique.com. You'd allow me to put this job on my past work.

Any additional bots we create after the 16 week coaching period would be co-productions compensated at my current market rates unless otherwise negotiated.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh--

Sorry for the delay, again. I really was overbooked yesterday and didn't get to half the things I needed to. I've looked over your proposal, and I'm not 100% sure that I could use the tool to its potential — as I don't know what I don't know about AI and I also have a general skepticism that's hard to shake; however, I think that it is likely worth the shot. It's an impressive idea and if it works in the way I'd like to see it work, it could be rather exciting.

So, if you head over to my site and purchase a 16-week plan, then use this coupon code: ALTPAY for a 100% discount. I hope to help you get the value out of all the work you have proposed doing by being a helpful and effective tool for you.

Let me know if you have any other questions!
-Sol

This sounds great Sol. Thanks so much!

Given your uncertainties about what AI can and can't do, it might be useful to schedule some time with me to discuss fundamentals and design these tools in active communication.

Given how busy I'm sure you are, I can basically just build things throughout this time and share them with you to provide feedback and improve upon or eliminate from the suite because they don't seem like they'll make the cut no matter how much tuning we do.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh--

Here is the brute skeleton of the page:

www.professorsol.com/community

Made one post on a local Facebook group yesterday. Got a positive reception. Launched as a Facebook group this morning. Already have a dozen members and counting.

Looking forward to seeing where this one goes.

Best,
Josh

This is dope. I was considering having a meetup in my area. I hope that it works out!

-Sol

We're up to 25 members from just the initial post.

Here's my current vision of the potential larger project:

SolSpace: Platform Overview

"This is for the people of the sun" - Rage Against the Machine

Executive Summary
SolSpace is designed as a beacon of innovation and empowerment for the neurodivergent community, marrying advanced technology with the specific needs and strengths of its users. In the spirit of building a vibrant community, the platform serves as a dynamic conduit for those illuminated by the relentless energy and resilience that our services champion.

Detailed Feature Breakdown

AI-Supported Chatbots: Empowering Every Interaction — Adaptive Learning and Interaction: Our AI chatbots ensure the rhythm of the platform's heartbeat, the bass, the treble, don't stop. They provide personalized support that adapts to the unique needs of each user, enhancing their interaction with the platform and ensuring a continuous flow of assistance.

Resource Hub: A Beacon of Knowledge and Growth — Curated Content for Neurodivergent Users: Reflecting our commitment to meet the specific needs of our community, the Resource Hub is foundational to our mission. Ya got to give the people what they need, and at SolSpace, we provide educational and support resources tailored to enhance the neurodivergent experience.

Community Connections: Fostering Unity and Engagement — Seamless Digital-to-Physical Community Engagement: Our platform uses advanced technology to bridge the gap between online interactions and real-world connections.

Inclusive Forums and Discussion Boards: These forums are the bedrock of our community's voice, where our freedom of speech is freedom or death. Here, every member can express, connect, and contribute freely in a safe and supportive environment.

SolSpace stands as a testament to the power and potential of the neurodivergent community, providing tools and spaces that foster growth, connection, and empowerment. We are dedicated to shining a light on every individual, helping them navigate the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead with strength and confidence.

Hi Josh--

I've been very busy with my wife's surgery and recovery, but I do keep coming back to this email. I do think that you're onto something. Hopefully, we can get into more details soon. I'm open to scheduling a meeting for Monday, again, and of course we can set your meeting for coaching whenever you like.

-Sol

https://beta.pickaxeproject.com/axe?id=SolSpace_Support_Guide_RVYU6

SolSpace Support Guide

Hey Sol,

I don't mean to put this in a charged way, but I think at this point the original impetus for me seeking out the coaching in the first place has now happened with the work I am supposed to be doing for you.

Ie. from where I sit at least, I'm essentially getting paid to do nothing because the work I am doing for you has less of a priority than whatever is going on. This then creates a whole weird array of internal stuff but my biggest concern is actually the external impacts. Ie. how the client paying for work that isn't being done because the communication needed to move forward on the work is less of a priority than other pressing matters. Then eventually it creates a realization that they aren't really getting much for what they paid for and the loss of income.

I don't really expect you to sever coaching because the work cannot be prioritized, and this email isn't about you, but about the pattern that continues to unfurl, inclusive of our own work together.

I'd like to spend about half our session next week on that and then focus the remaining time on ongoing relationship challenges — there appears to be some sort of common through line here. I just don't entirely understand it at all.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh--

I've been thinking about this, too, and mostly I think about this from the perspective of my own shortcomings of time, circumstance, and attention. So I'll start there before moving on to anything else.

• I have a lot of irons in the fire at the moment. Between personal challenges like losing my job and my wife breaking her arm, I've been pulled in a lot of directions.
• To top it off those personal things, for some reason, my coaching has taken a dive these last two months. I've been paying rent and bills through coaching for over a year, and suddenly I haven't been able to land a new client, so I'm burning through my retirement pretty quickly, which creates a lot of stress.
• Add to that, I am having trouble understanding the application of a lot of tools that you're proposing. This is because, in my mind, they've jumped from AI tools, to a full social network, which I don't think I'd be able to really support, as evidenced by three people adding to our directory of autistic professionals. And then the podcast, which is promotional to the social network, which feels like added work and time without pay. A podcast, in itself, could be a goal, but it feels like it's a stepping stone for something bigger, that, again, I can't see working out.
• When it comes down to it, I know that I'm hard to work with--I've been told so more times than I can count--and I really feel that I need a marketing or development person who can work much more on their own, or has more experience with the tools that they are proposing.

Now, that's the "me as client" side of things. I really don't know if you want to keep doing that role, as you have a lot going on, too, and I know that it can't have been rewarding so far. I also want to caution that, while I think that the social network is a good idea, I don't see it taking off. I've seen far too many failed social networks that have had teeth behind it. I get a lot of views, I get a lot of comments, I get people making meetings just to talk to me, and it's all very exciting. However, I haven't been able to get people to fill out online forms, I haven't made a coaching sale since late March, and I can't fill a cheap support group from my 150,000 followers right now. I think I need to keep focusing on what I'm doing that is working, which is getting and retaining followers, getting the occasional client, and selling some books in the future.

I'm totally cool to keep coaching, as long as you think you're getting anything out of it. I have some clients who get a ton out of it, and they make it really clear that they do. Some clients will go weeks with so-so results only to have earth-shattering self-realizations that make the whole thing worth it every month or so. Some clients need so much work and need someone to talk to so much that anything I do with them is useful. In our coaching relationship, it's hard for me to gauge how useful you're finding it.

You seem to be aware and comfortable with your neurodivergence, and you seem to be frustrated with many things in your life without wanting to change how you interact with it very much. That's not a criticism at all, it's somewhat how I feel about the world, too, a lot of the time. I rarely feel like I contribute much insight, because it feels that you've thought about and processed a lot of your experiences before talking to me. It's possible you like having the ear to talk to, or that you and I will come to a place where you will want to establish some goals. Again, no judgement at all, about a third of people want to have someone hear what they are thinking and processing and need to be understood in order to finish the process of processing and not collapse into rumination, and I'm happy to serve in that. But part of me has wondered if you feel that it's working for you or not.

We can certainly talk more about this later this week. And to be perfectly clear, none of this is a rejection or dissatisfaction. When we started working together, I was in a different place, felt much more successful than I do now, and had time and space in my life to take on some new challenge. I'm not there right now. I would tentatively propose that we keep the coaching relationship, but don't worry about the work you're doing for me, as I don't know that my business is in the position to employ it the way that I thought it was.

-Sol

Thanks for the note.

There's a lot there obviously.

The social network is a moon launch project — in all honesty, while aspirations for a neurodivergent social network are great — the announcement is intended to be as much of a bellwether and a marketing opp as much as a guaranteed future product.

I have always intended to focus the work trade work solely on the AI stuff outside of vague product roadmapping of how these can fit together.

I have at least one if not two AI bots waiting for additional feedback from you and I can generate more quite quickly.

The podcast is related to the social network concept but more importantly it's intended as a way to introduce you to other aligned audiences — and also to create a potential life raft for a whole contingent of creators in the event of TikTok's potential demise.

The additional work on your end can be as little as lending your name and trusting me to do everything so that you just show up at your desk for the taping. Should you not want a role in decisions like the name etc and wanted me to do everything, then I'd want a producer credit on the show.

I'm also happy to just focus on the AI stuff but basically to make it work effectively looks like 15 minutes of time a week to talk about the project and roughly another half hour a week of playing with whatever I created.

As far as the coaching itself, I look forward to the sessions. I'm not sure what I'm getting out of them that I wouldn't be getting out of an ideal therapist.

I know where I'm unsatisfied in my life, I'm aware of the core challenges in depth. I seem to be as good at ideating solutions for myself as anyone but, these solutions continue to evade resolving the core challenges.

Whether our work together can help present any tangible ways to overcome these challenges I'm still unsure but it feels helpful in that cathartic way if nothing else.

Best,
Josh

Congrats on the new community endeavor — it's a bit challenging for me to have pitched something similar down to within a day of my proposed announcement date and not be involved in the endeavor.

Was planning to attend group Thursday, but am not sure I can do so without speaking to this challenge and I don't want to put you on the spot in group without prior consent.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh—

I'm sorry that you feel challenged by this. I assure you that I've had community ideas pitched to me several times a week since last fall, and, most of the time, I haven't been interested. What this company has done well is show a very specific plan, with custom made pages and video that they've done at their own time and expense to show me that their plan was very solid and actionable. Not only that, but they have the history and experience that I was looking for. I'm not only inexperienced in programming, but in even using many services online, so having a lot of visual preparation that showed they could make this happen on a timeline that I was prepared for.

You are, of course, welcome and encouraged to come to group. But I don't feel like it's a great topic to bring up, as it asks for the investment of time for other people who are not concerned. Not only that, but a former client of mine who was trying to sell me on developing a bigger operation that he wanted to partner with once did bring up his complaints about working with me to the group, and it was an unpleasant time for everyone—pretty much the only "bad" meeting we've ever had.

I'm a difficult person to work with, and I apologize that the idea of a community didn't work out through a partnership between us. Working with a larger group is a better choice for me, as it takes many of my personality problems out of the relationship, and I have explained to them that I am difficult to work with, and they have done well with that information.

Sol Smith, MFA, EDS, MS

Thanks for the timely response; I'm well aware it's far from an original idea.

The timing probably the biggest challenge for me coupled with the last couple weeks not being able to happen as scheduled.

I had no intention of bringing up complaints against you at said meeting, I don't have any complaints to speak of so much as the frustrations associated with the repeated pattern of attempting to partner on projects, being unable to continue involvement for whatever reason and then seeing a very similar project come forward. Any efforts to bring this up in group would be generalized around that theme and not the specifics of our own engagement but it would be passive aggressive to vaguebook you in your group.

The most dramatic case of this pattern was when Al Gore decided he was going to launch a tv network. My application video consisted of protest footage combined with some street theatre of declaring San Francisco's independence with a song by Spearhead as the soundtrack.

I ended up applying for the street team promotion job for their launch event through a completely different process. The script they gave me said: join us as we shut down the streets of San Francisco and declare our independence from corporate media with spearhead and special guests.

To this day, I don't know if I was just tuned into the same cosmic frequency or they were inspired by my idea, but it's a weird pattern to experience.

Best,
Josh

Hey Sol,

I just got out of the meeting which turned out to be more of a presentation; I think I managed to say enough with the limited space available to make an impact. I then spoke to Chuck about using my property to develop the cohousing community, he seemed interested.

During Thursday's group at some point I would like to share this opportunity I have with the group and to posit the question: what would a neuroinclusive community look like, what sorts of design implementations and accommodations would you want to see?

I'd like to take the thoughts generated from that discussion into that Saturday meeting. And I'd also like to keep in my back pocket that you might be interested in consulting on this project; I'll be reaching out to Steve Silberman as well. I believe this is probably my best opportunity to build a horizontal community on property that I can be an active participant in, and while I might not be young any more I'm still scrappy and hungry, and I'm not giving up my shot.

Best,
Josh

Hey Sol,

I'm now taking lead on this Neuro-inclusive Cohousing community project. I'd like to use our remaining time together to both work through my own role in this project as well as bring you in to a group conversation as potential consultant on the project.

I'd like your support in reviewing that initial proposal and establish an appropriate payment and duties for such a role.

What do you think?

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh--

Sorry! I've been flooded these past two weeks, and I have to really think about this proposal. Sounds interesting, but there's a lot on my plate. I guess a few more details would be welcome.

Sorry about group again.

-S

Hey Sol,

TL;DR: I suggest adding a Discord companion to the NeuroSpicy Community Skool for features like spontaneous audio rooms and AI chatbots. I've already created a basic Discord: https://discord.gg/pSrS6Dej

I value the human connection in our Zoom calls, but when you're not facilitating, meetings can be canceled, unstructured, or led by guest facilitators who bring a different vibe from yours. Adding more facilitators with diverse styles could help. Large groups can also feel intimidating, with check-ins taking the full hour. Discord could address some of these challenges.

I'm glad I decided to say something in my check in, and thanks for suggesting I jot something down in an email.

I recognize we're probably each choosing to participate in the community for different reasons/features but for me the sense of human connection through the Zoom calls is why I choose to invest in participating.

When you haven't been able to attend a scheduled meeting, I've experienced one of three outcomes: the meeting never goes live, it becomes an unstructured free-for-all, or there is a facilitator assigned to fill in.

I actually created a skeleton discord to share with folks in the group but thought better of doing so and have just been sitting on it for a while.

https://discord.gg/pSrS6Dej

Hey Sol,

I hope you had a good Christmas holiday. Did you get a chance to look at this email I had sent?

I'd like to go ahead and change the name and create a new icon for the discord so that it is no longer likely to be confused with the NeuroSpicy Community brand and business.

Then announcing on the group that I've created an additional space for folks like us to gather should only be an issue in the event that I have any plans to charge to access the discord. I can promise you that for as long as Discord provides a free service, it will remain free so as to not be in competition with the Neurospicy Community.

At the same time, by separating it from the Neurospicy community I do intend to potentially invite folks from outside the community you have cultivated once a culture has been established.

To whatever extent the NueroSpicy community would like to be associated with this endeavor the offer will remain open, but I'm hoping this way allows me to act autonomously to craft the additional support structures I need for my own resilience at this time.

If you get a chance to respond to this in the next day or so please feel free to share your thoughts and I'll refrain from posting anything about the discord until after the weekend is over or I hear back.

Best,
Josh

I think that the concern that one of my partners has is about this space being used as substitute to our community, or as pushing your own community. He's managed communities before and has been warning about something like this happening. I've calmed him down a bit, but we still want to have a talk about it. I would probably urge you not to announce it at the moment. Instead, we can see what can and can't be incorporated from the group's perspective.

That's pretty challenging to hear while dealing with intense 24x7 meltdown rumination zone and the check in format that the sessions have turned into is far less helpful for my own needs while still critical for my support needs.

I first offered to create it as an extension of your direct group, which was explicitly designed to waylay your business partners concerns. As an alternative to that idea, and not knowing those were the concerns I designed a completely different approach designed to alleviate any potential liability concerns.

I just heard how busy you are this week, but if you can find 5 minutes between calls to chat or something it would be appreciated because telling me to sit back and chill for a week or so is hard to sit with.

Best,
Josh

My post from almost a month ago that I spent several hours crafting was just removed from moderation as "self promotion." There is no call to action, no outside link, nothing more than a description of the cohousing community project that we had discussed and you had tentatively agreed to advise if we had the funds to pay you.

I'm already in a pretty bad place and this just really feels like a massive thing. I don't know.. just…..

Oh my god — what the actual hell….

I'm sorry — I'm on the road and I did not anticipate this. I'll talk to the other two as soon as I can to get things straightened out.

Hey Sol, I'm waking up this morning feeling a bit overwhelmed, and I don't really know any way to alleviate what's going on in my brain other than communicate.

This will probably be a long winding e-mail and a bit stream-of-consciousness. Please don't feel obligated to read it through. But putting the words down in my journal just isn't going to do anything for me.

To save you some time, I've had chatGPT craft a tl;dr:

TL;DR: I understand that my removal from the NeuroSpicy Club wasn't your decision, but the way it was handled has been profoundly distressing. Losing access to the community, my posts, and my connections without prior communication or collaboration has had a significant emotional impact on me. I'm reaching out because of the trust I've placed in you as a coach and leader — I want to share how this experience has affected me, hear your perspective, and explore whether there's any path forward or lessons to be learned from this situation.

I'm not sharing my feelings here because I'm angry at you or want you to feel bad. But I also feel it is fair to share the impact this has had on me.

I know you're not a medical doctor, and The NeuroSpicy Club is not a mental health support group. At the same time, I think it'd be irresponsible to not acknowledge that your coaching services and the NeuroSpicy Club are a clear supplement to other mental health services and are an inevitable substitute for those of us without other forms of care available. From that starting point, I think it's reasonable to suggest that the credo "Do No Harm," can be applied to your work despite with our without swearing the Hippocratic Oath.

Unilaterally removing someone from their community is a form of cultural violence. While comparing my removal from the NeuroSpicy Club to the displacement of thousands of Japanese Americans during World War 2 is overly dramatic to the point of histrionics, I think it's fair to recognize that in 2024 our digital communities are as integral to the human experience as the ones we reside in, and that in both cases folks were suddenly displaced without warning, explanation, or an opportunity to collaboratively find a better solution to the respective concern.

I've never really participated in group therapy under the supervision of a licensed therapist, but — given the amount of bureaucratic policies inherent in our mental health care system — I would imagine that there are ethical guidelines around when it would be appropriate to remove a patient from their group therapy along with specific dictums on how the transition of care should be handled.

Instead, I received an e-mail notifying me that my post about creating a neurodivergent cohousing community had been taken down for "self-promotion," and before I had finished writing a response, I received a follow up informing me that I had been removed from the group. With all the grace of a corporate layoff and security escorting their employees out of the building before they have the time to gather their personal effects, I found myself locked out of Skool, my writings gone and — it seemed — no way to contact the people I had met since I joined.

I was charging my car when I got the news. I called my mom in a state of shock and went non-verbal for the first time as far as I can recall in my life. The words were there in my head, but making my mouth articulate the sounds required to communicate intelligible speech suddenly became a daunting exercise. Surprisingly to me the sound that came out when words would materialize sounded more like I was trying to mock the disabled than communicate. Fortunately that quickly subsided and I was soon able to communicate normally.

After getting home, and fumbling around with Skool for a bit, I realized that since I hadn't been kicked out (expelled?) from Skool — just the NeuroSpicy Club — I could still message my friends I'd met. And then I saw the initial greeting from Sebastian. I clicked on the message and saw the green light that he was presently active and then proceeded to do the thing that everyone has advised me against my whole life, but which I cannot resist out of fear that death by rumination is real.

I sent Sebastian a message.

[Full Sebastian DM exchange reproduced verbatim in Phase 3a: Skool DMs — Josh & Sebastian]

By this point my background processing has continued its work around Sebastian's stated reason for my ejection.

"Your thesis is that an autistic didn't consult with the perceived authority figure before acting on his own agency to maintain a pattern they were relying on to sustain their mental health and for that reason should be banned from the community? Am I interpreting that wrong?"

Sebastian: "Hi Josh, I hear ya, I'm autistic as well...And there are many things I need to work on myself — its the reason I created this community. You seem like a cool guy and I'm sad I wasn't able to get to know you better. Sol says you are building a discord server — or something along those lines. I would encourage you to create your own community. You seem to be well suited to having your own community you can call your own. Please take this as a compliment and even offer the motivation to pursue your own thing. Maybe I am wrong, but if this is something you really want to be doing — then let this be the opportunity to make it happen. Lemons to lemonade, bro."

It wasn't easy to put aside my ego after you decided to go with Sebastian and Skool and cancel the project we had been working on together as part of our work trade agreement for your coaching services. But as I started attending the group sessions and they then were deprioritized in favor of the NueroSpicy Club, I bit the bullet and subscribed as I realized how helpful they had been for my growth and wellbeing.

Safe spaces are hard to come by and being a part of this group has been a huge sustaining force in getting through the past few months. I'm sure you noticed that I was very direct in asking if YOU would remove me from the group if I posted the discord. I was communicating that in no way would I do anything to jeopardize my ability to stay in the group.

It didn't occur to me that posting a time and a link to my own Zoom during a week there were no support group meetings would be the cause of my termination. And beyond that, it never crossed my mind that Sebastian was the one in charge of the operation.

Anyhow, I think I'm successfully running out of steam and have said what I feel needs to be said. If I were under the impression that you wanted me out of the club, this would be the time that I would plead mercy on the court to reverse my banishment and allow me to return to the community.

But from what I've gathered so far, it doesn't seem like you want me banned, so I thank you for your time in hearing me out over such a long e-mail.

I hope to hear back soon with an update regarding my membership status.

Best,
Josh

This will be the last of these message in a bottle emails I send your way, now that my membership has been restored.

While I agreed with everything you said in your speech toward the end of today's group, it was hard for it to resonate without an asterisk.

I don't believe I need to explain why I set up two informal gatherings during the week you took off for Christmas, but to be clear my primary purpose was to help myself get through the week. Secondly, I figured I wasn't the only one in the group who felt that way.

In reality, one person joined on each of the calls so I basically got an opportunity to go a bit deeper with two of our members on a 1-on-1 basis.

On the Christmas Eve call, it was just Elissa and I. During that call her and I came up with a project we wanted to pursue together and decided to post to the group to try to find the third person we needed for the endeavor. I now presume that making that post to the group would apparently be verboten, though I personally think discouraging members from partnering together to improve our life condition — whether socially or economically — seems shortsighted.

I sent Sebastian a message after being let in asking if it would be permissible to share my new album, "File Under: Autism" and he said that would be fine.

But I can't square how promoting my musical creation is fine, but writing a post about creating a co-housing community, that you had tentatively agreed to consult on, isn't allowed.

Meanwhile, I asked Sebastian for a link to the rules that caused the aforementioned post to be flagged and have been told only that community rules are in the works and waiting on your approval.

But that means my post was taken down for violating a specific rule that doesn't appear to be documented anywhere.

I want to invite you to explore what your role, Sebastian's, any other paid individuals and the community members themselves looks like when it comes to leadership of the NueroSpicy Community.

If it's truly a community, what does the power dynamic of the community look like? How are decisions made?

Anyhow, I trust that my honest direct communication with you about where I'm at doesn't jeopardize my continued standing in the group.

When Sebastian threw me to the wolves and told me to go start my own group, it was up there on the list of harshest things folks have said to me. Though he later managed to one up himself when he suggested I overcome my principle challenge by lassoing an influencer of my own.

It hurt because he's not wrong, I do have the knowledge, skills, social network, and basically everything I need outside of capital to create an online community, a Nuerodivergent cohousing community, and whatever other dozens of community-based projects I've initiated or been a part of over the past 25 years.

Basically I got in trouble in the autism group for doing what autistics do.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh—

I'm sorry that you've felt like you were screaming into the void, and I can understand how frustrated you are. I haven't responded mainly because I didn't want to promise anything before I managed to get you back into the community. And since then, I've been overwhelmed with new interest in my coaching as well as deadlines with my publisher and all the other life bullshit.

Sebastian owns the website and manages the backend of the community. He's not a psychology person or an autistic person or a mental health person. He's a business person.

I had about 100 people pitch the idea of community to me, and he was the one who was able to communicate it the best way—plus he had all the resources ready to go, since he has done this several times before. Not only that, I explained to him that I'm terrible to work with, and unorganized, and have no bandwidth for dealing with another personality in the workspace—he said "No problem. You don't even have to like me. I'll do my job with as little input from you as possible, and you use the framework to do your job. We can talk every few months if we absolutely have to." This was the perfect fit for me.

From what I understand, his work on the backend partially entails watching what's going on; we have not hired moderators yet, and the recent uptick in growth had him overwhelmed. He keyed in on your use of "community" in that post and on your organization of filling in the holes when I wasn't there, along with your general vocalness in what comes across as pointing out deficiencies you see in how things are working; he compared this to his experience in past communities where information and membership was pilfered and he locked you out without asking me.

I understand the stress and strain of not knowing what went wrong or how to prevent it happening again. Basically, the website owner is protecting his investment and it has nothing to do with community building in the grassroots sense of the word, but maintaining our ability to operate. Things are especially vulnerable when sudden growth happens, and my own lack of organization has made it more so.

All of this said, I'm sorry it happened. You don't seem happy, and I'm sorry that you aren't. I hope it doesn't happen again, but I also need someone like Sebastian who will take care of things that I'll miss. A mistake was made, and they're hard to avoid. I'm sorry.

Hey Sol,

Thank you for getting me back into the community. If there's anything I'm presently unhappy about it's the fact that you don't have unilateral control over what rightfully should be your community. But I'm unhappy for you about that and certainly not angry or upset with you for anything.

I definitely didn't feel like I was screaming into the void. I felt like I had a lot to express about how I was experiencing the situation that needed to be recorded — I tried to make it clear I didn't really have an expectation for you to read through it all if it was too much.

I hear you receiving my feedback as pointing out deficiencies, it has always been meant to identify opportunities for growth and not complaints about the current system.

What do you mean when you say Sebastian owns the website?

The "website" is an account on a service called Skool, which is a turnkey solution, then there's a domain registered that forwards to the Skool account.

Are you saying he owns the domain?

Anyhow, I'm not upset, more just feeling a whole bunch of intuitive alerts going off all over the place and I'd be remiss to not share them at this junction.

Best,
Josh

PS - you say Sebastian is not an autistic person, but he has told me that he is autistic.

Does Sebastian know any details of our past work on the abandoned project?

If not, is it my place to speak of our past work with him? To be clear, my purpose is to help establish greater empathy and not stir division.

Best,
Josh

Hi Josh—

I'm still completely overwhelmed, but I'm really hoping to launch peer groups soon. Davita wants to run a book club, and someone else has asked if they could run a trauma-informed group as part of their grad school practicum.

I'm thinking of opening another zoom account (because you're right, it's a better idea not to have multiple technologies) let you run the groups you'd like, and then also have some times that are open for parallel work, and open for reservation.

I know this is several days late. What are your thoughts and willingness at this point?

Hey Sol,

Other than all the stuff overwhelming you, I, and the majority of the planet for a variety of overlapping reasons, this all sounds great. I would love to help out in whatever way my support is welcome.

I'd love to lead a weekly session around self-advocacy and resilience.

But more than that, I would like the opportunity to help shape a community-driven process to help activate this endeavor.

I have the bandwidth, and energy to help, but only if that's a role that the "admin" supports me playing. Otherwise it's a bit self defeatist.

To cut straight to the root, If my past efforts are to be truly received, what I want to see is an inclusive fair process for the entire community to step into leading their own peer groups — I feel that this structure has incredible potential to empower our community and see any number of ways that I could help support and foster it.

I think I have a compelling vision for this and I would like the opportunity to follow up with a one page document outlining my idea and how we can implement it. You're welcome to run with what I send you, or I can assist in the execution — whatever works best.

Rather than wait for your approval, I'll probably just follow up with the aforementioned one pager anyhow…

Best,
Josh

Sounds good. I finally grabbed time with Sebastian—whom I've been avoiding—and I can run it by him, as well. I have a bit of time tomorrow to deal with things.

Good morning,

Attached is a quick proposal I put together last night — I haven't yet looked into the tactical strategies to utilize the zoom account.

Best,
Josh

Great proposal. I passed it on to Seb, and said that I'm for it. I will set up a Zoom and give you the keys, so people can arrange meetings by, perhaps, emailing both of us? If you plug them into Zoom, I can plug them into the Calendar from there. Maybe each session starts out as a four-week commitment for the leader, and they can decide if they want to keep it up for another four after that?

-Sol

I'd love for us to launch peer groups ASAP. I will open a new Zoom account, and if Josh could facilitate sign-up, I can put sessions on the calendar, as well. I think that new groups should make a four-week commitment to begin with. Attached, see my proposed best practices.

What else do we need to do before launch?

I think these best practices are a pretty good foundation — I do think we need to create something that looks more like a brief video training module to support this endeavor beyond the attached — particularly when it comes to supporting our members who have less confidence or experience in being able to succeed in leading a group.

But, I do believe there's an initial pilot of folks who don't need such a module — folks like Rebecca who is already running the Friday night group.

Would it be all right for me to make some proposed edits to the attached document and send it back to you guys?

Yeah, please go right ahead. There was something that I wanted to add in there like, "please remember that these are support groups, not therapy groups; the point is for everyone to support each other through shared experience and empathy, not to solve problems with advice--especially medical or medicinal advice."

But yeah, I was hoping y'all would add whatever you think necessary.

Sol Smith, MFA, MS, EdS

I'm good with the approach and document.

As I understand the next steps are:

- Josh to confirm dates/availability
- Sol to update the calendar
- Josh (or myself can make a post about the new group) -- We will pin the post for a few days to get best visibility.

The proposed best practices looks good. Happy to see what Josh adds to the document.

Just have two questions:
What is the proposed date to make the announcement?
What is the date for the first peer meeting scheduled for?
The sooner the better :)

Seb

The Lemon Aid Hour

A NeuroSpicy Gathering for Collaborative Problem-Solving + Adaptive Resilience

Most support groups are built around one rule: don't try to fix. Just listen. Just witness. And that's important—especially for those of us who've spent our lives being misunderstood, over-pathologized, or talked over.

But sometimes witnessing isn't enough.

Sometimes we want to say: This thing is kicking my ass. Can someone help me work through it? The Lemon Aid Hour is for that.

This is a space where neurodivergent folks come together to not just share what we're going through—but actually collaborate on what to do next. You bring the thing you're navigating—burnout, masking, relationships, executive dysfunction, whatever's live—and we work it together.

Not with advice. With options. With patterns. With perspective.

You're not alone in this. You're in a room full of minds that know how to problem-solve because we've had to—our whole lives. No one has to share. But for whomever does, that becomes the work of the hour.

So bring your lemons. Bring your questions. Let's squeeze them together and make something useful.

Let's make Lemon Aid.

Let's do it. What's a good time slot for you?

Dear Sol,

You already know I've been removed from your community. Twice.

The first time, it was for stepping up: offering support over the holiday week, when no one else was holding space. I didn't do it for recognition. I did it because I believed in what you were building. Because I thought this place was ours.

The second time, I was actively working on projects that you and Sebastian explicitly came to me asking for my involvement in projects that I had suggested months earlier.

And in both cases, I was disappeared.

No warning. No conversation. No attempt to repair. Just gone.

You speak publicly about safety. About sanctuary. About showing up unmasked. But what you've built is a system where anyone who crosses an invisible line: anyone too bold, too earnest, too autistic, is simply removed. Quietly. Without due process. Without explanation. Without acknowledgment of the rupture.

You don't get to call that community.

That's not safety. That's control.

And I need you to hear this: removing someone from their community without just cause or the opportunity to understand or respond is an act of violence.

It's the kind of violence we recognize clearly when ICE does it. When you take erasure offline and start ripping people out of their homes, their networks, their relationships; when you remove folks from their community without explanation, without care. We call it cruel because it is. It erases people. It destabilizes the social fabric. It leaves trauma behind.

The impacts of this violence are admittedly less severe when talking about an online community, but the same sense of being ripped from the only place that felt like home remains the same.

You may think that comparison is too strong, but exile is exile. And when it happens inside a space that promises belonging? The betrayal cuts deeper.

And now I'm stuck in a loop I can't get out of: either this place is not what it claims to be, and others will be hurt the same way… or I really am so autistic, so fundamentally other, that I don't belong anywhere. Not even in a community built for people like me.

I don't know which possibility is worse. But I do know this: the harm is real. It's not hypothetical. It's not theoretical. I feel it in my body. I wake up with it. I carry it with me all day.

And if you don't reckon with that then this entire community becomes just another space where power goes unaccountable and harm is swept under the rug in the name of "support." If that's what this is, call it what it is. But don't call it sanctuary.

Because I think we all can agree that sanctuary means safety, and that if safety is to be championed, then ruptures should either be repaired — or when that isn't possible — handled with grace and care.

Best,
Josh

CC: support@neurospicycommunity.com

Hi Josh,

I've read your message, and I understand that you're feeling hurt and confused by your removal from the community; however, I need to be clear: the decision to remove you was made to prioritize the safety and well-being of our members. There were concerns from more than one community member about interactions that made them feel unsafe. Out of respect for their privacy and protection, we are not sharing further details.

You may not agree with the actions taken, but the safety and trust of the group must come first.

I also understand that you've been harassing Monica and Rebecca since your removal. At this time, I am asking you to cease all communication with me and with anyone associated with the community. Continued attempts to contact me, other group leaders, or re-engage with members of the group will be considered harassment and may result in further action.

Please do not respond to this message.

Sol

Hey Sol, I really liked what you said about wishing soc [message truncated — probable accidental send]

Sol,

You asked me not to contact you again. Until now, I haven't.

You also asked me not to contact community members. I did continue talking to the friends I made at Skool, and I want to be honest about why. They're adults. That call is theirs to make.

I came back as Harrison because the seven months after I was banished without any clear explanation have been genuinely devastating. Not because I missed your weekly sessions. But because of the people who show up every week and say the things that are hard to say anywhere else, and the safe space they provided in return.

The welcome letter promises exactly that: a forum to "vent, to be honest, to be vulnerable, and to put the mask down." A place where "there is space for you here" and "you don't have to earn it."

And yet, I've been removed three times. I've reviewed both user agreements and the Skool rule-set carefully. The community agreement is clear: removal requires "personal attacks, harassment, or hate speech."

The rules posted on your Skool platform itself are: respectful communication, no politics, no harmful content, be positive, no self-promotion, make an effort, no spam. The closest I could point to is rule four — "be positive" — but that doesn't really read like an enforceable rule. It's a mood requirement. And it's a particularly hard one to impose on a room full of traumatized neurodivergent adults who came specifically because they needed somewhere they could be honest.

You described me to your team: paid leaders, volunteer leaders, and paying members, as "not a stable person." I'm now replying to this same group because the people you said that to deserve to hear the rest.

Two things.

---

I. THE CONFIDENTIALITY PROBLEM

Our relationship didn't start with my community membership. It started in March 2024, when I reached out to you as a coaching client, responding to the professional identity you were actively marketing. I have the correspondence.

Before one of our first sessions, I emailed to ask about the Supreme Court decision that extended psychotherapist-patient privilege to licensed counselors (Jaffee v. Redmond).

I wanted to know if you thought these same legal protections would extend to you as a neurodivergent life coach.

I asked because I'm a journalist who has personally invoked reporter's privilege in federal proceedings and I take protected communication seriously. It's territory I know.

What I'm reacting to now is that something from that context appears to have been used to characterize me publicly.

You marketed yourself as a provider of mental health support, and you accepted the terms of a confidential professional relationship.

If your description of me as "not a stable person" draws on anything from that coaching relationship, that's a breach of the professional code you agreed to.

---

II. THE CREATIVE EXPRESSION PROBLEM

After my removal I wrote. I made music. I processed a painful experience through essays, narrative, and AI-assisted art.

That's what neurodivergent people do with hard things.

If your claim about my stability is derived from the creative work I did after being removed last June, I need to make the irony clear: you're a creative writing professor.

That's what "Professor Sol" was, principally, until you launched Professorsol.com.

And yet you are using an autistic person's creative output as evidence of instability. You of all people know what creative processing looks like.

Creative expression is not a symptom. Naming a harmful dynamic is not harassment. Writing about an experience is not threatening someone.

---

I'm not asking to come back. I'm asking that the record reflect what actually happened, and that the people you've already spoken to have access to a more complete picture.

Josh

Stop it.